His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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