Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
