I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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