I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
