I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
