So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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