Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
