Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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