.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
