He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
