HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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