"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Green mimosas i think yes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
