Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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