I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
