Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
