Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
