don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
