Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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