White coat. Heels.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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