Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize