The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
