so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
