If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
