I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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