I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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