Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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