Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize