I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
