I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
