the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
