please come you make the beer taste better
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
