Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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