i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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