did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
