There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
