The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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