dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize