i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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