What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize