I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
