the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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