My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
