Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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