his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
