i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Girls should come with a carfax report
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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