the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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