Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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