Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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