I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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