That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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