Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize