i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
