Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My vagina just recognized that song.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
