I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
