why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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