so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
