oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
