i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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