they need to just BURY HIM!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
