brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
