Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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