did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
