its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
