Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
