told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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