All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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