So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Green mimosas i think yes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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