She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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