Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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