u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
