Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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