giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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